Upon receiving training as a caregiver should, I learned that the greatest amount of abuse to an elder is by a family member. Now, the abuse is not always physical abuse, but many times emotional or mental abuse. Let’s take a look how this works before we judge, shall we?
You have a home and a family; a career, bills to pay, food to prepare and a parent back in diapers that requires 24-hour care. Pretty soon, it all becomes too much.
You begin to remember all of the times that your parent punished you, the remarks that were made, the judgment held. You begin to apply this pressure in reverse to the one you love very much. What is that saying, ‘we always hurt the ones we love the most?’
Be careful as digging, hurtful statements are not easy to take back. Hold yourself back before a grab becomes a slap and then a punch. Don’t use guilt because the elders feel guilty enough.
Take a step back. Seek out a support group. Check into home health care – whether it be an hour or two a day or a 24/7 caretaker that you seek. Let’s face it, not everyone can afford a ‘home’ for their loved one to go to.
What you do not want to live with is the guilt that you will feel if you abuse your parent in any way. There are options. Take them. Keep in mind that With Age Comes Respect!